Tuesday, March 27, 2007


“How many times should I forgive my brother?”
“Forgive us our debts as we forgive our debtors.”
“Forgive and ye shall be forgiven.”

I have forgiven others.
God has forgiven me.
Have I forgiven me?

- I have sacrificed my integrity, my morals, my purity for my own temporary pleasure again and again - pushing away the only thing that could truly satisfy.
- I have lied to myself: justifying, rationalizing, twisting the truth and my conscience to take the wider, easier path.
- I have hurt myself: my pride, my self-image, my soul by believing and acting in accordance with the very lies that I created.

- I am sorry for the beatings I have inflicted upon myself, for the punches I’ve thrown and the pain I’ve inflicted as a wretched vigilante.
- I am sorry for the times I subjugated myself to sin, for the times I pushed aside my own voice of truth because I wanted to feel comfortable hiding in the darkness.
- I am sorry for belittling myself, for pushing down the man I really was in order to vainly attempt to be someone else’s someone else.

It is ok. It is over. It is finished.
It has been long. It has been difficult. It has been hell.
We are still here. We are still whole. We are still standing.
We have withstood attacks from within and proved our mettle, our manhood and our might.

I forgive.
I forgive you.
I forgive me.

No comments: